Caring For Yourself While Caring For Others

Putting others first and their priorities above your own are often characteristics of a good caregiver.

However there comes a time when the added responsibility of caring for a loved senior can cause physical and emotional stress. And as we have all learned over the ages, stress can be the culprit for a multitude of illnesses. What’s important to remember is that it’s okay to have additional help for the care of your loved one. Home Instead conducted a study and found over 31% of family caregivers admitted they could use more help. Outside care not only helps take the pressure off the family or loved one’s caregiver, but allows for the relationship between the senior and the caregiver to strengthen due to the decrease presence of stress and tension in the relationship. Caregiver Stress provides great resources for caregivers to help determine your caregiving needs and control the stress this position brings.

Focusing on positives to Get Seniors Moving

Focus on positives to get seniors moving It’s never too late to start exercising,

and any amount is better than none, according to exercise experts. Getting older adults to start moving and stay moving, though, may be a challenge. There are many reasons why older adults don’t start or stick with an exercise program, says Dr. William Hall of the University of Rochester School of Medicine in New York. “Many of the women’s groups I work with think it’s not very womanly,” he said. Others have told him they would feel self-conscious running around in Lycra, though he tells them tight-fitting clothing isn’t a requirement. Fear of falling is another reason some seniors don’t work out, said Amy Ashmore, a spokeswoman for the American Council on Exercise. “As we age, many changes occur that affect our balance,” she said. “For many people, these changes are scary, and for that reason many older people are afraid to exercise.”

According to a Health Day report, Hall and Ashmore focus on positive motivators and emphasize the benefits of exercise. Hall encourages people to have a goal, such as learning a new skill, beating a competitor in an event or surpassing their own best record. “The medical evidence that’s coming out now about the value of exercise for everything we worry about as we age, including cognitive disorders, is compelling,” he said. Body image is also a motivator, no matter what a person’s age. Hall and Ashmore offer these tips to help seniors keep moving: Focus on “process goals.” This means focusing on the current excercise session. Buy a new bathroom scale. Get one that gives body fat percentages, and set a goal to reduce body fat. Think of excercise as social time. Socializatin is linked with health benefits. Accept a realistic goal.

Alzheimer’s experts: “Don’t Hesitate to Get Paid Help”

It’s never too late to create a care plan

Alzheimer’s experts advise calculating the costs and spend time researching outside care for a loved senior. An article posted in USA today explains that as dementia progresses, family caregivers and the patients themselves often benefit from hiring outside professional care.

Over the years we have seen our own CAREGivers give much needed care to seniors and giving their family and loved ones the opportunity to strengthen their relationships rather than having the daily responsibilities of dementia care.

Full Article Here

Battle of the Ages

Just when you thought that a family caregiver’s job couldn’t get more difficult, consider this: Many of the estimated 25,000 households caring for a senior in Marin County are trying to help an aging relative who’d rather not have help.

A study of family caregivers who responded to a survey on caregiverstress.com revealed that more than half of the respondents (51 percent) said that their aging relative was very resistant to care. These seniors often object to help whether it’s from their own children or a professional who tries to come into their homes to assist.

This is a real problem for family caregivers worried about the safety of a senior loved one who might be forgetting food on the stove or neglecting to take their medications.

But experts say that keeping fiercely independent seniors safe at home isn’t a lost cause; there are solutions for them and their family caregivers. That’s why the Home Instead Senior Care network is launching Caring for Your Parents: Education for the Family Caregiver.

The unique, educational program includes a number of resources that address senior resistance to care as well as a variety of other topics such as choosing an in-home care provider, the signs of aging, long distance caregiving and communicating with aging parents. The free materials and videos are available at www.caregiverstress.com.

Why do seniors resist help?

If seniors admit they need help, they feel their independence is in question Seniors believe that once they acknowledge they need help, they’ll lose control of their affairs. They are trying to maintain dignity. Unless they feel they can trust someone, they resist change. I believe it’s the fear that life as they’ve known it will be taken away from them.

Sometimes seniors only want help from a son or daughter, which can put undue pressure on that family caregiver who feels he or she can’t call for professional help. Most caregivers can go into “crisis mode” to rally around a loved one in the short-term, “but you can’t be totally immersed in a crisis mode long-term without your own family, work and health suffering,” according to family caregiving consultant Dr. Amy D’Aprix, who holds a Ph.D. and master’s degree in social work and is author of From Surviving to Thriving: Transforming Your Caregiving Experience.

The strain can take a particular toll on working family caregivers. The Home Instead Senior Care study revealed that 42 percent of caregivers spend more than 30 hours a week caregiving. That’s the equivalent of a second full-time job.

And that’s what makes countering that resistance to assistance so important. “Many times family caregivers make assumptions but never ask: ‘Mom, I’ve noticed that every time I bring up having someone come in to assist, you don’t want help. Why is that?’ Sometimes the parent doesn’t realize they’re being resistant,” D’Aprix added.

“Also, reassuring a senior loved one that you have the same goal in mind will help,” D’Aprix said. “Start with: ‘My goal for you is to be independent, too. You know I can’t be here all the time. A little extra assistance will help you stay at home.” The battle to turn resistance into assistance can be fierce, like seniors who call police when a professional caregiver shows up. Education can help arm family caregivers with the tools they need to create a win-win for everyone.

Help (Not) Wanted

Five strategies to help counter a senior’s resistance to assistance

Following are strategies from Home Instead Senior Care® and family caregiving consultant Dr. Amy D’Aprix to help family caregivers turn resistance into assistance.

1. Understand where the resistance is coming from. Ask your parent why he or she is resisting. “Mom, I notice that every time I bring up the idea of someone coming in to help, you resist it. Why is that?” Oftentimes older adults don’t realize they are being resistant.

2. Explain your goals. Remind your loved one that you both want the same thing. Explain that a little extra help can keep her at home longer and will help put your mind at ease as well. Have a candid conversation with him about the impact this care is having on your life. Oftentimes seniors don’t understand the time commitment of a caregiver.

3. Bring in outside help. If a relationship with a parent is deteriorating, ask a professional, such as a geriatric care manager, for an assessment. A third-party professional can provide valuable input. Also, go to www.4070talk.com for tips on how to talk with a loved one. If you are having problems getting through to your older adult, consider asking another family member or close friend to intervene. If you’re not making headway, perhaps there’s someone better to talk with your parents.

4. Research your options to find the best resources for your loved one. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or a geriatric care manager to research resources in your community. Or go to www.homeinstead.com and click on the resources tab for The Home Care Solution, a guide for family caregivers to help them find the best in-home care for their loved ones. If you decide outside help is needed, reassure your parents and tell them you have researched caregivers and you are confident you have found the best one you can find to come into the home to help.

5. Respect your parent’s decisions. Sometimes you won’t agree with your parent’s decisions and that’s O.K. As long as your loved one is of sound mind, he or she should have the final say.
A note: If your senior has dementia, seek professional assistance from a doctor or geriatric care manager. Logic often will not work and other strategies must be employed.

CAREGiver Cruise Contest

Are you or someone you know devoted to caring for a senior loved one?

We recognize the dedication and love it takes, but also the stresses that can come along with it. So we’re giving one lucky caregiver hero a free, 5-day cruise – and while they’re gone, we’ll provide professional care for their loved one. And if you are nominating a friend or family member, you could win a laptop and camcorder!

Nominate yourself or someone you know for a chance to win!